Miss my blog

I miss my blog. I don't have internet at home so yeah I haven't been blogging as a result but right now I'm on a temp assignment just covering the phones so I have plenty of time to write and reflect. Overall I miss writing online. I miss my posts. I won't make any promises to write consistently on this blog but when I am able I will post something. I was looking over blogs from over a year ago and it is amazing all that God has done in and through me over the last year. I am not who I was and God is still molding me into who I will be and I'm really comfortable with who I am right now. I like me. All my little quirks and all I am quite pleased with me.

This Christmas season I am endeavoring to step outside of myself and love like I have never loved before. I have no idea what that looks like or what it will be but I am willing to be used. I don't what to remain hidden any longer I want to be used. Over the last 2 years it's almost like I've been in an oil press, being crushed until there is no more me, in order that God can pour out Himself on me so that I may be used. I want to go over everything that happened over the last year because it has truly been phenomenal. So maybe in 2010 I'll do a recap of 2009 so I can share with you all the many blessings that the Lord has bestowed upon me in hopes that you may be blessed too.

More posts later.

Amber

Back in the Habit

"I've been gone for a minute but now I'm back with the jumpoff" -Lil Kim...IDK it felt relevant at the moment I was typing it all out...lol. Anywho I'm back. Finally got stable internet in mi casa and now I will be blogging my little heart out on this site as well as on Urbanspin.net. I now have a weekly blog on Urbanspin.net, entitled "As Told By Amber". The site will have other bloggers as well and it's just a blog about my take on the world. Similar to this blog but less personal. So if you like what you've been reading or had been reading on this site prior to my unannounced hiatus then head on over and read my debut blog "I hate Musicals", it's an interesting POV at American's Sweetheart the musical. Anywho I'm glad to be back. I will most definitely update you all on my status and how my journey since my abrupt dissapperance from the web. Thanks again for all of your support and encouragement. I read all of my comments and do my best to respond and visit your blogs as well. Continue to support me and I will support you. Looking forward to writing and sharing a lot more.

Your blogger,

Amber

Seasons

I would apologize for my absence but I'm not sorry one bit. As far as I can see this has been the best time of my life and it's only the beginning. I am just getting started. I'm not who I used to be and I'm not who I'm supposed to be. Or maybe I'm not who I thought I'd be. I'm just me. I've entered a place of no return and now all I can do is work. All I can do is prepare. All I can do is read. All I can do is lift my hands. I've been hiding for too long. Now it's not like captivity as I thought it to be. Now I am sharpening my weapons preparing for the battle. Now I am drawing my schematics out so that the plan can be implemented. Now I am really doing what needs to be done. A time is coming when no man can work. We will eat but not by our traditional work. We will hide in the dark places not to blend in but to expose the darkness. Our light will overtake all the evil and again the world will be safe in time to come. We will expose the threat that lurks behind the lion. For thou he roar, his bark hath no bite. I will be as who I was created to be since the beginning of time. All things will be made new. A refreshing is coming. The planting season is over and the rains have come. If anything we are in the eye of the storm. Waiting for the next rain so that we may be tested. For what we planted went through a burning season. The land was torched and only what was fire proofed made it through the storm. Now what remains and has survived the fire has been watered. Today the sun shines and the seeds will receive their fill. However when the day is done, they still need time to grow. Next we must receive more rain. It has to come. It may be cold but it's refreshing. Don't you remember the fire. It was hot. After the rain, the sun will come to nourish us again. After he has come then we will grow once again. We will have a growth spurt. Once we have reached maturity it will be time for us to be plucked and the process continues.

Public or Private

I think I'm the perfect mix of "in between". I'm not too public and I'm not too private. I guess I'm lukewarm but in a secular sense. I want to you to be hip to all my ways but blind to all my sin. I want to you feel my writing but never see my poems crying. I need you to be encouraged to change your life but never stop to question if I'm living right. I guess it's just the downfall of a leader. You work for the people but never stop to get what you need. In fact you never acknowledge the fact that you do need. I mean God has called you and that does mean he's qualified you so why stop. I mean I ain't trying to be wondering around in no desert for days or years even. I'm trying to move. I gotta keep it pushing. Always pressing. BUT is it really in a good way? Am I pressing against adversity or just preventing God's hand from blessing me? I mean it's easy to get confused. How quickly your work be done in vain if your heart is not changed. The minute you start thinking you've arrived is the moment that you've just departed. Departed from the place of grace or even understanding. Making it hard to see what to see in the midst of a storm. In a place of privacy not wanting publicity. I mean I don't know what you see but I have to fight this hypocrisy and just be me.

My Heart's Prayer

I cry now for my daughters and sons. For those who have yet to be born. My heart is burdened with their future responsibilities. I pray now that they would be strengthened. I pray now that they would heed the Holy Spirit in all its warnings. I know that they are anointed. I know that they have a gifting and a calling far greater than mine. I look forward to the day when they will recognize their power.

YES on 8

YES on 8 passed but now what? What do we do now? I recently checked out the NO on 8 website and the supporters of No on 8 aren't giving up. They are determined to fight for what they believe in. Are we determined to do the same? Are we ready to fight to protect what we believe? They are! There was a huge march on Santa Monica Blvd and to the Los Angeles Temple to protest the passing of Proposition 8. I guess they targeted the Mormon Church because they had given the most money in support of the proposition. I don't know fellow Christians are you ready to be persecuted for Christ's name sake? I am finally ready and I am ok with those beliefs being challenged. I know who I am!

CHANGE

Man don't talk to me about change.

I AM Change.

That's my first and last name.

Heck maybe even middle name.

The swagger that I have that's offensive to you is changing some one's life everyday.

I live, breathe, eat and drink change.

I cannot remain the same.

Everyday I have to die to myself so that I can truly grow.

Always thinking and evaluating where I am and where I'm going.

Never stopping because to stop would mean delay and the time is now.

The time is now for change.