Seasons

I would apologize for my absence but I'm not sorry one bit. As far as I can see this has been the best time of my life and it's only the beginning. I am just getting started. I'm not who I used to be and I'm not who I'm supposed to be. Or maybe I'm not who I thought I'd be. I'm just me. I've entered a place of no return and now all I can do is work. All I can do is prepare. All I can do is read. All I can do is lift my hands. I've been hiding for too long. Now it's not like captivity as I thought it to be. Now I am sharpening my weapons preparing for the battle. Now I am drawing my schematics out so that the plan can be implemented. Now I am really doing what needs to be done. A time is coming when no man can work. We will eat but not by our traditional work. We will hide in the dark places not to blend in but to expose the darkness. Our light will overtake all the evil and again the world will be safe in time to come. We will expose the threat that lurks behind the lion. For thou he roar, his bark hath no bite. I will be as who I was created to be since the beginning of time. All things will be made new. A refreshing is coming. The planting season is over and the rains have come. If anything we are in the eye of the storm. Waiting for the next rain so that we may be tested. For what we planted went through a burning season. The land was torched and only what was fire proofed made it through the storm. Now what remains and has survived the fire has been watered. Today the sun shines and the seeds will receive their fill. However when the day is done, they still need time to grow. Next we must receive more rain. It has to come. It may be cold but it's refreshing. Don't you remember the fire. It was hot. After the rain, the sun will come to nourish us again. After he has come then we will grow once again. We will have a growth spurt. Once we have reached maturity it will be time for us to be plucked and the process continues.

Public or Private

I think I'm the perfect mix of "in between". I'm not too public and I'm not too private. I guess I'm lukewarm but in a secular sense. I want to you to be hip to all my ways but blind to all my sin. I want to you feel my writing but never see my poems crying. I need you to be encouraged to change your life but never stop to question if I'm living right. I guess it's just the downfall of a leader. You work for the people but never stop to get what you need. In fact you never acknowledge the fact that you do need. I mean God has called you and that does mean he's qualified you so why stop. I mean I ain't trying to be wondering around in no desert for days or years even. I'm trying to move. I gotta keep it pushing. Always pressing. BUT is it really in a good way? Am I pressing against adversity or just preventing God's hand from blessing me? I mean it's easy to get confused. How quickly your work be done in vain if your heart is not changed. The minute you start thinking you've arrived is the moment that you've just departed. Departed from the place of grace or even understanding. Making it hard to see what to see in the midst of a storm. In a place of privacy not wanting publicity. I mean I don't know what you see but I have to fight this hypocrisy and just be me.

My Heart's Prayer

I cry now for my daughters and sons. For those who have yet to be born. My heart is burdened with their future responsibilities. I pray now that they would be strengthened. I pray now that they would heed the Holy Spirit in all its warnings. I know that they are anointed. I know that they have a gifting and a calling far greater than mine. I look forward to the day when they will recognize their power.

YES on 8

YES on 8 passed but now what? What do we do now? I recently checked out the NO on 8 website and the supporters of No on 8 aren't giving up. They are determined to fight for what they believe in. Are we determined to do the same? Are we ready to fight to protect what we believe? They are! There was a huge march on Santa Monica Blvd and to the Los Angeles Temple to protest the passing of Proposition 8. I guess they targeted the Mormon Church because they had given the most money in support of the proposition. I don't know fellow Christians are you ready to be persecuted for Christ's name sake? I am finally ready and I am ok with those beliefs being challenged. I know who I am!

CHANGE

Man don't talk to me about change.

I AM Change.

That's my first and last name.

Heck maybe even middle name.

The swagger that I have that's offensive to you is changing some one's life everyday.

I live, breathe, eat and drink change.

I cannot remain the same.

Everyday I have to die to myself so that I can truly grow.

Always thinking and evaluating where I am and where I'm going.

Never stopping because to stop would mean delay and the time is now.

The time is now for change.

Barack Obama

There is so much that I want to say. So much that I want to share. My mind is just...doing flips...WOW. Let me first be honest. I'll admit initially I wasn't sure who I was voting for. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't voting for Barack because he was black or for McCain just so I wasn't voting for Barack because he was black. I feel that both candidates did not completely line up with my beliefs but one seemed to really identify with me more than the other. So I voted for Barack Obama because he just seemed to stay with his message throughout his whole campaign and he really seemed to care about the people.

Last night for me, was quite surreal. It didn't hit me until after I had cast my vote. I was getting in my car and it dawned on me "I just voted for a black man." Like huh? I just did what? A black man ran for president and won. Not just any black man but a black man that stands for change in health care and the economy. I mean there are some other issues that I am not for that Barack supports but that's where I am able to say my piece as a citizen. People we can't just turn our backs on politics. I am so proud of people standing up for what they believe in but guess what? It ain't over! We still have to fight. Barack made it through the door, and for many of us there are doors in our own personal journeys that have yet to be approached. So don't forget yesterday. Don't forget the impact that it had on your life. History was made yesterday and it has changed the world. However our part as the people is not done. We have a lot of work to do. Restoration is needed. It's going to be hard and long and we need to start now.

Start writing our lawmakers at the local level asking for change. Calling upon our non-profit organizations, local churches, and fellow citizens. Calling upon them to do what they were elected to do. My prayer is that people don't stop being involved. My prayer is that they don't stop seeing that their vote matters. That they matter as an individual person. Last night was powerful. Anywho I'm sooo excited! I am excited to continue to be apart of our democratic system. People died so that I could vote. So that I could be equal. I can't disappoint them. I have to share my ideas and beliefs!

And another thing...I guess since it's my blog I can say what I want. However I was thinking about how as a child I wanted to be President of the United States. Now as a 22 year old woman I could actually run as a candidate in the future. That's not a lofty idea. It's not too far off. I could possibly be anything that I want to be. I mean I know that through Christ I can be anything. It's just nice to see this demonstrated in a such a historic way. With all that said, pray for the people. Pray for our leaders. Pray for our Churches. Pray! It really changes things.

To Be or Not To Be

I want to share all that is within me. There's so much in me that is just sitting and wasting away. There is hope, there is truth, there is love, but most of all there is CHRIST. He resides on the inside of me so if anything I would want to introduce you to him that he can give the true gift that keeps giving to you. I would pray that you would accept him into your life because you are accepting the words that I am speaking or writing at this second not as my opinion but as the Word of God. My prayer is that all men would come to know the love of CHRIST. It's so strong. It's so gentle. It's so eternal. Once you get a taste, I love the scripture, "Taste and see that the Lord is Good". I can't remember the address but it blows my socks off. I think it matches the mind of most people, we love samples, trials, freebies, etc and this scripture seems almost like a dare, NO A DOUBLE DOG DARE. We are being admonished to try God. To just take a taste. Have you ever tasted a sauce you were making, or a special dish and you wouldn't to make sure that it would please your guests. Didn't all it take was a small taste to know that it was good. Didn't you only need to get the flavor of it in your mouth to know that it was seasoned just right that you didn't need anything else. Well that's how Christ is! All you need to do is take a small taste. Nothing major just a little taste to see if he is good. There is no need for refunds or exchanges because you won't be going back to your former life. You will be living an eternal.

LOL...I am literally laughing thinking about my thoughts and desires as a child. I would watch these shows and movies about immortal characters. I think it was Buffy the Vampire Slayer that really had me sold on this idea. I think certain characters made potions or found a way to be immortal and the whole idea really seemed cool. Especially since the idea of death really weirded me out, this idea of eternal life seemed so cool. I think I would go to bed praying that I too could live forever. I didn't want to die but I wanted to live. Over 10 years later, what do you know? I am immortal...okay not in a literal sense but in a figurative one. I have eternal life granted to me by my heavenly Father. So because Christ resides in me, I will now live on with him after this life. How exciting? Wow...life after death...or immortality as I'd like to refer to it.