Being Loved

Being loved doesn't just go one way. In order to be loved, you must love as well. Whether you show that love first is not important. However in order to be loved you must love. Whether it be a romantic relationship or just a friend if you want that relationship to grow then you must put forth some type of effort. I'm learning in my walk with Christ that my love is quite shallow. Where I thought I'd go the distance I find myself lazing about, not doing much of anything. Yes I love Christ because he first loved me but now He wants more of me because time is up. Yes time is up for the inconsistent love relationship. I love Him when he's good to me, and lowkey resent him when he hasn't done what I asked of him. Not ever stopping to think once that I could be the problem. Time is up for the games but it is time for sincerity. To be honest and sincere with God about how I feel about things. I'm too old, well age or time is not relevant but I know good and well that I can't make a mess and want it to be dealt with but hide it to avoid the consequences of my actions because of fear of the unknown.

Growing up I feared my parents. They did an excellent job of instilling fear of them in me. So good, that I never wanted to disobey them because I feared disappointing them. I feared what they would do, but I would still disobey them because they were never consistent in their punishment so there was always a chance that I wouldn't be punished because they didn't stick to their word. In many ways I take that same mentality and apply it to my relationship with God. I think he's just like my parents, unfaithful. I think if he said something, he didn't mean it or it's not going to come to fruition because my parents never did what they said but how many of you know, that's not true of God. He is the same, unchanging, still, long suffering, he is exactly what he will do. Never less than the truth, but always right on time.

I must declare his truthfulness in the earth. His faithfulness. His love.

97 Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long.
98 Your commands make me wiser than my enemies, for they are ever with me.
99 I have more insight than all my teachers, for I meditate on your statutes.
100 I have more understanding than the elders, for I obey your precepts.
101 I have kept my feet from every evil path so that I might obey your word.
102 I have not departed from your laws, for you yourself have taught me.
103 How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
104 I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path.
105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
106 I have taken an oath and confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws.
107 I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word.
108 Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my mouth, and teach me your laws.
109 Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will not forget your law.
110 The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from your precepts.
111 Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.
112 My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.
113 I hate double-minded men, but I love your law.
114 You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.
115 Away from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commands of my God!
116 Sustain me according to your promise, and I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed.
117 Uphold me, and I will be delivered; I will always have regard for your decrees.
118 You reject all who stray from your decrees, for their deceitfulness is in vain.
119 All the wicked of the earth you discard like dross; therefore I love your statutes.
120 My flesh trembles in fear of you; I stand in awe of your laws.

Do I really believe this? Can I say that this is my heart. That I love his law and really love it. God is showing me my heart towards him. All the things that are in me. I've asked that he help me and he's truly transforming me. I once heard preached, that the difference between transition and transformation is that one requires change. The latter of course, requires you to be molded into something other than your previous form, whether this is done physically such as a pregnancy where your are physically changing or a personality change, or a financial change. Whereas a transition simply moves you from one locale to another. It simply takes you from where you are and places you in another place. When God transforms you, he is making you over and drawing certain things out of you to take you to a new place. He's equipping you for whatever is coming next just make sure that you are listening and taking heed to what is going on because you could miss very important instructions.

So let God in, I'm really letting go of my junk. My bad attitude, my insecurities, my self centered will, my hurt, my rejection, and all that other stuff that's hidden so deep that I think it's normal.

Let it go!!!